iBeth

Visiting Celebration Florida

The pumpkin patch we visited recently was in Celebration, Florida--and that visit was my first to the town.  Since I am skeptical about the value of homeowners associations, I really expected to dislike the place.  I knew it would be a cookie cutter movie set based on manufactured nostalgia for a past that never existed, symbolized by the silly fake dormers  (with windowpanes painted black--and yes, they look obviously fake when you see them in person.  *shudder*)  I knew no worthwhile community could flourish where the rules were so oppressive.

Boy, was I surprised.  As we drove through, my main reaction was sadness that we couldn't afford to live there! I kept imagining how great it would be to be able to walk my kids to school, to have parks and public amenities nearby, to live within a (safe) bike ride of the grocery store.  It's one thing to put up with oppressive homeowners association rules in a garden variety, basically ugly, car-dependent subdivision, and another thing to do it where you get inviting common spaces and neighborhood activities in return.  I found myself daydreaming about living in a place where I could work from home most days (teaching online), a place where I could go days or weeks without getting behind the wheel of a car. 

Even the pumpkin patch was picturesque, all the more so because local parents were stopping by for photo ops before the neighborhood costume party.  Apparently the local costume supplier was also special, judging from the wonderful costumes.  (This skunk was my favorite.)  AND all the pumpkin money went to a charitable organization. 

Before I became too mopey, however, my husband reminded me that Celebration has no library and no bookstore, not to mention a painful lack of diversity and a location near one of the ugliest streets in the universe (Kissimmee's Highway 192). Sometimes sour grapes are the perfect comfort food.

Paint Inspires Attack

From the "things could always be worse" department.  Guess I should be grateful that we only had rocks thrown at our house and some nasty notes & comments:

Man Attacks Neighbor Over How He Painted His House

OVIEDO, Fla. -- Two neighbors were recovering Tuesday after getting into a fight over the color of a house.

Michael Dudley's house in Oviedo is tan with black trim and his neighbor Sam Awhal painted his the same color.

The sheriff's report said Dudley was mad about this, went over, had a word with Awhal, and then hit him. The man who was painting Awhal's house jumped in the fight to help.

"He got very upset ... literally attacked ... 'cause of black paint," said painter Steve Yaworski.

What Is My Neighbor Doing?

Paula A. Franzese's article, "Does It Take a Village? Privatization, Patterns of Restrictiveness and the Demise of Community" captures my own experience with homeowner's associations.  Franzese argues that as presently structured, hoas are destined to disappoint anyone seeking an authentic sense of community: 

In the CIC setting, covenants have been devised to regulate everything from whether pets are limited or prohibited, to the permissibility and style of one's screen and storm doors, to the ratio of grass, trees and shrubs allowed on one's property. Restrictions are imposed to regulate the mounting of basketball hoops, the retrieval of dog droppings, the posting of for-sale signs, the trimming of bushes and the color of window curtains. Servitudes exist mandating that any doghouse be made of the same material as the mater house and hidden from view by a six-foot fence or prescribed greenery. Rules exist to prohibit wok-cooking, compel poorly dressed guests to ride in service elevators and prohibit those wearing flip-flops from sitting in common-area chairs . . . Reliance on excessive regimentation has reduced the relevant inquiry of resident relations to the adversarial ‘what is my neighbor doing?' as opposed to the far more desirable ‘how is my neighbor doing?' (emphasis mine)

Her article (from 47 Vill. L. Rev. 553 (2002))  is summarized in the classroom preparation notes on property law from Lexis-Nexis.  If you have access to Lexis-Nexis or the Villanova Law Review, you can read the whole thing.

Green House Affair Update

I've been asked privately several times now for an update on the Green House Affair.  Believe it or not, things have not entirely settled down in my neighborhood.  Now that some of my neighbors have discovered my blog, I am afraid to write anything specific for fear of adding fuel to the fire.  Would that the people who lived near me were as reasonable as Dana (no fan of green houses she).

Any day's news headlines will provide a host of more interesting and important issues to worry about than paint color, but for fun, you might enjoy the following:

• More green houses from Google and someone's collection of "Butt Ugly Houses" too (one of them green).  I kinda like the pink and aquarium blue colors in that last link, but ymmv.


• Theme song from Weeds: "Little Boxes" by Malvina Reynolds.  Original lyrics here.  Modified lyrics by Roger Scime and a free downloadable mp3 available here.


• Artistic protest against gated communities via Jess

Creative Lawnmowing

An Omaha man has offended his neighbors by mowing a thirty-foot-long "two word expletive" into his lawn:

City prosecutor Marty Conboy said little can be done legally about the yard.

"There really is no criminal law that covers these kinds of vulgarities," Conboy said.

Conboy said it would be different if the homeowner threatened city employees by saying the expletive, but on the lawn, it's a passive statement protected by the First Amendment. . . . .

Ordinarily I believe real governments are better equipped to deal with problems than private governments, but this case would probably be different, if only because hoa rules tend to be more vague than the Omaha code that merely limits grass height to 10 inches or less. 

If it happened here, I suppose our hoa could sue.  Legal action might be too costly for our hoa though; I suspect we'd  need to pass a special assessment to deal with the problem, or to forego sheriff patrols, lighted entrance, and grass mowing.  Not that I would want to give my neighbors any ideas.  (Though some are certain that my house color sends the same message.)

I Feel "Violated" Too

I have frequently used my blog to complain about hoas who go to great lengths to hassle their own neighbors by constantly issuing violation notices for minor infractions.  In fact, the chief reason I've volunteered to work for my own hoa is that I want to live in a place that operates differently.  IMO, there's no point in "violating" people who basically do a good job of maintaining their homes.  Violation letters, if sent at all, should be reserved for those homes where owners really let things fall apart over long periods of time.  Otherwise, the letters can destroy the positive neighborhood feeling that a good hoa should try to create. [Now that some of my neighbors have learned about my blog, I feel compelled to emphasize that I am speaking for myself here, not the hoa board.]

I make no secret of my hoa philosophy.  I have even, in a recent series of since-deleted posts, bragged about my hoa philosophy.  In fact, I've received my share of grief for this philosophy, including an actual death threat a few months ago that was inspired by someone's overgrown lawn.  No joke.

So you can imagine my feelings when I came home from work to a management report thick with a list of violation letters that have already been sent out.  With errors in them.  To my neighbors.  Who are already angry at me about the color of my house.

I don't even know what emoticon to use here.

Had I known about these letters in advance, I would have stopped them (or at least tried to stop them--I only have one vote) from being sent, for several reasons:

• My neighbors' homes look good.


• At least two of the neighbors who received "You need to paint" letters have already told me they are planning to paint.  Another guy who got a "repair your lawn" letter had already told me he was concerned about his lawn.  Why send violation letters to people who are already planning to fix up their homes?  That just angers people.  Witness my own reaction to the petition my husband and I received recently.


• The violation letters appear to be retaliation, when in actuality, they were solely motivated by the desire of the property management company to do a good job.  (Many communities delegate this responsibility entirely to the property manager, and our property manager is very conscientious.  I thought our board had already agreed that we wished to follow a "no letters to be sent w/o prior board approval" policy, even though such a policy is not common practice, but apparently we have not.)

I'll be taking up the violations issue w/the board at the next meeting, but in the meantime, I'm not sure what to do about my neighbors who received the letters.  Ordinarily, I'd seek them out f2f and apologize, but the hostility on my block has been high enough that I don't think I have the courage anymore.  Plus, it seems (from the recent petition and subsequent conversations) that some of my neighbors want the hoa board to be issuing MORE violations rather than less, so I'm not certain that explaining my "build good feeling" philosophy and promising to redouble my efforts in that direction would make them feel any better.  Plus, I don't think they are inclined to believe me.

Any advice for me, Gentle Readers?

Interestingly, my in-laws rec'd two violation letters (one for a minor infraction, the other simply confusing).  My husband and I will of course be doing the prescribed chores at their house, so we haven't escaped that particular burden.  Actually, I shouldn't say "my husband and I" will be doing those chores because I will probably just ask him to take care of it.

Another Heartless HOA

Why are these heartless homeowner's associations always in Florida?  The Majestic Oaks hoa in Ocala has just issued letters reminding residents that their CCRs "don't allow" residents to offer shelter to Katrina evacuees. 

Though he feels "damn bad" about the uproar, HOA President Bob Watson said the board has a legal responsibility to enforce the deed restrictions, plain and simple. . . .  Watson said that even under the unprecedented circumstances, the community's restrictions could not be ignored, especially if the evacuees are still sheltered months down the road.

Bypassing the by-laws could invite lawsuits, he said adding, "How am I going to explain that to the judge?"

I think he should be worried about a different judge.

The Affair of the Green House

I almost didn't write this entry, partly because the "so-called neighbor saga" is starting to bore even me, even as I'm living it.   But unfortunately the unpleasantness appears to have escalated.  Someone has actually been throwing rocks at our house.

I refuse to be victimized.  I'll post what I've written so far of the pathetic affair here.  If you're interested, read on.  I'll update as I get a chance.  Right now, I'm waiting for the police to arrive.

And to those who are accustomed to more cheerful fare--my apologies.  I have plenty of stories to share, but it has been hard to write about my children when I know a vengeful person, someone who knows where we live and who has already committed criminal  mischief, is reading my blog.

So-Called Neighbor Saga Will Continue

Today, I am less sad/bewildered and more annoyed/incredulous about the whole ridiculous Affair of the Green House.  I'm going to take my blog back.  I have some real life tasks to accomplish first, but if you are interested in this saga, stay tuned for more. 

The Saga Ends Here (I hope)

A note of explanation as to why this thread has disappeared:

As I had started to worry from the odd spike in local hits, my neighbors have discovered my blog.  I'm not sure how.  Maybe I mentioned it to one of them in an attempt to be friendly, though I have no specific memory of doing so.  From what I can figure out, someone on my block found the blog and is going door-to-door again, telling people about it in an attempt to . . . I don't know what.

I am having trouble sorting through my reactions, but I'm going to do my best.

First, I did not intend anything here to be a message to my neighbors.  Writing is my hobby.  I write about my children, mostly, but also about events that provoke thought or strong feeling, events that interest me and that I think might interest others.  I write for lots of reasons.  I write to relax and to figure things out.  I write to communicate with far-flung family and friends.  I write for catharsis, for practice, for experimentation, for fun.  Why does anyone keep a journal?

Second, apparently my recent blog entries have been used to hurt people that I respect, like, and wish well.  I am sorry.  I have removed those entries because I don't want people to be hurt.  The installments of my "so-called neighbor saga" are now private writing in every sense; I still have them, but I will only share them upon private request. [note: most--the posts I could find--have been restored]

Third, I don't believe that blogging about my conversations with neighbors is equivalent to circulating a petition.  With the petition, people ganged up to try to force my family to do something.  No one asked, hinted, persuaded, or bothered to acknowledge our efforts to make the neighborhood better (including many hours spent in service to this neighborhood and its association).  It's the secret collusion, then attack out of nowhere, that was hurtful.  With my blog, I am writing my personal thoughts and memories about my attempts to respond to that situation.  I am not colluding with anyone.  I am not trying to force anyone to do anything, including read this. 

Much less change the color of their house. :)