iBeth

A Well-Ordered Church

I attended a parents' meeting about the annual Christmas pageant today.  This year, Amelia will be a sheep and Emma will be an angel.  The meeting was informative and the preparations were clearly in good hands.  We finished in time for me to grab some coffee before I helped another mom set out materials for the morning rehearsal.  No question about it, these Episopalians seem more organized than the Unitarians at my other church. 

While I'm attending the Episcopal church for very good reasons, and I'm a huge fan of our priest who gives wonderful educational and inspiring sermons, I do miss many things about the UU church: the flower communion; the earnestly offbeat celebrations (e.g., on mother's day, moms and daughters would dance around with long flowing scarves); the time when everyone brings water back from special places; the new year's service where we write down something we want to give up and then burn the piece of paper we wrote on; the way we'd celebrate lots of holidays and not just the Christian ones.  And the varied and surprising and talented congregation (the Episcopal congregation is talented too, but somewhat less colorful.  A small example: the UUers had names like "Meik" and "Mighk" and "Mic."  Episcopalians mostly seem to be named "David" but if they have any Michaels I feel certain they will be just plain "Michael" or "Mike." )  Oh, and the UU service contains no affirmations that would make me feel like a hypocrite if I were to say them.  And Emma really misses coffee hour (this Episcopal church hosts a breakfast between the two services and we attend the later service so we miss it). 

Much as I miss all these things, I admit I don't miss the chaos.  More than once I would hear about an event during the announcements part of the service, look for more info on time/place in the newsletter or program, and fail to find it.  Sometimes I even traveled to the church for an event only to learn that it had been canceled or rescheduled or no one know exactly where/when it was.  And even when events happened, they seemed ad hoc.  Will the wiggle room be open after the service starts even though the choir is enrobing in it right now?   Will there actually be enough food at the Halloween party or will they run out so early that we ought to eat before we go?   When people show up to help lay bricks for the maze, will anyone know where/how to place them or will we just make our best guess?  As wonderful as the events were, and as interesting and passionate and generous as my fellow UU parishioners were, I found the uncertainty stressful. 

Quite a contrast to this morning's meeting--which followed an agenda!--held in one easily identified location while a team of volunteers wrapped gifts for needy children across the hall--and they had enough tape!-- and another team of volunteers cooked and served breakfast--and had enough cleaning supplies! 

What I wonder: is this an idiosyncracy of these individual congregations?  Or are Episcopalians generally more organized than Unitarians?  And if so, why?

(Caveat: I realize that this account is more reflective of my own hang-ups than any essential quality of either congregation.)

e-coli on handbags

Here's what I don't get about this story:  who sets their purse on the restroom floor by the toilet?  I have never done that, and I've never seen anyone else do it either.  (Granted, I'm not in the habit of looking in the other stalls.)  Just about all public restrooms have a hook or a shelf or something.

[S]wabs from 50 purses were sent to a lab for analysis. While a few of the samples did not show evidence of bacterial growth, most did, and nearly 1/4 of the handbags tested proved to have E. coli on them. . . .   None of this should come as startlingly new information to anyone, given where the typical purse carrier will unthinkingly place her handbag — the floors of public restrooms, at her feet in restaurants or on buses or subways, the floorboards of her car, the fold-out child's seat of shopping carts (where the diapered bottoms of little ones have likely been placed by the cart's previous users).

I do occasionally put my purse on the floor of restaurants, however, when I have no other choice but to keep it on my shoulder or in my lap.  Darn those rounded, strap-unfriendly chair backs!  Now I will need to break out the disinfectant..

Middle-Aged Eyes

Lately, I've had trouble reading from a printed page.  The words look blurry.  I stop, rub my eyes, try again, same problem.  When I mentioned the problem to my husband, he suggested that I push my glasses to the tip of my nose, hold the book farther away, and try again.  Et voila! the blurriness resolves into perfectly legible text.  I haven't been so depressed by a solution since my cough was cleared up by a daily application of nose spray (yuk).

Now I have to decide--keep futzing with the glasses & book position, or get measured for bifocals?

Too Much Fun

Bad enough to get a sinus infection.  (I am STILL fighting that infection.  I hate my sinuses.)  But even worse, shortly after the antibiotic did away with the 103+ degree fevers, I woke up to find my eye sealed shut.  Yep, that's right . . . not only did I have a sinus infection, I also got PINKEYE.  Really, there's such a thing as too much fun.

Been Sick

whew . . . a nasty upper-respiratory thing has really knocked me off my stride.  Now that I've started a course of antibiotics, I expect that it won't be much longer before I can respond to all the great comments and emails (thank you). 

Learning More About Jesus

Awhile ago, after a priest suggested that I read the gospel of Matthew, I posted some of my reactions (and received varied responses in the comments).  Since then, I've returned to talk to the priest.  His explanations were pretty interesting, I thought, so I'm posting them here:

Parable of the Two Sons:  I was completely puzzled by this parable, even after I looked at several different translations of it:

For example (Matthew 21:28-32) a man had two sons and he asked both of them to work in his vinyard.  The older son told him that he would not do it, but then changed his mind and did.  The younger son said he would, but didn't go.  Jesus asked, "Which one of the sons obeyed his father?"

"The older one," I thought to myself, and sure enough, Jesus' listeners answered the same.  Then Jesus told them, "You can be sure that tax collectors and prostitutes will get into the kingdom of God before you ever will!"  In other words, wrong answer.  But why?

Father C explained that it wasn't the wrong answer--it was the right answer.  But two different audiences were listening to Jesus ask the question.  One audience, the answering audience, contained tax collectors and prostitutes.  The other audience, the eavesdropping audience, contained members of the religious establishment.  Jesus was telling the religious establishment that the tax collectors and prostitutes would get to heaven first because they were willing to believe.

Fig Tree:  I also remarked on the way Jesus became much more crabby as the crucifixion approached.  Since I hadn't thought much past the smiling, gentle Jesus of popular culture, I was quite surprised to see him attack a fig tree in Matthew 21: 18-22.  He encountered a fig tree that didn't happen to have any fruit at the moment and angrily told it, "You will never again grow any fruit!" and the tree dried up. 

Father C suggested that either the fig tree was a metaphor or symbol used in other myths of the time, or the fig tree was flawed and barren.  Farmers know better than to care for a plant that will never bear fruit, he pointed out.  Later, my husband offered a different, narrative explanation--that the point was that Jesus didn't attack his crucifiers as he attacked the fig tree.  He clearly had awesome powers, but didn't use them.  All of these explanations seem plausible to me.

Open-Mindedness: I was impressed by the open-minded nature of Jesus in Matthew.  I just couldn't believe that this Jesus would insist that non-Christians would be inevitably damned--he so clearly respected faith in all people.   Commenters found this particular observation to be controversial . . . but Fr. C agreed with me!  Wow.

So I was going to read the book of John next . . . I even have a complete set of podcast readings . . . but so far it's rough going.  "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."  Whew.   I need frequent breaks to uncross my eyes.

Getting Baptized

OK, I've made the commitment.  I confirmed it today.  I'm going to get baptized.

It's quite a surprise to me that I've agreed.  I'm an extremely-ex-Christian Scientist, more recently a Unitarian Universalist, who has been attending an Episcopal church.  And every Sunday, I'm in the way, sitting like a lump in the pew as people climb over unbaptized me & my children.  I considered getting baptized so I could participate in the communion, but I didn't want to be a hypocrite.  It seemed wrong to consider getting baptized for purely logistical reasons.

After several conversations with the priest, however, these concerns were laid to rest.  I can interpret the words of the service in a way that I'm comfortable with.  I can disagree with the political positions of the local (anti-gay)  bishop. 

("But can I just say this means what I want it to mean, even though I may not agree with everything the church is doing?"  I asked.  "You do that in other areas too, don't you?  You still consider yourself an American even though you don't agree with everything our country is doing, right?" Father C replied.  Of course he doesn't know how strongly I have been tempted to get the heck out of here . . . but yeah, ultimately he's right.)

During communion, I don't have to sip from the chalice, or even dip the wafer in it, if I'm too worried about germs. 

And here's a shocker: I don't even have to believe in God!  Fr. C said to me, "God is love.  Do you believe in the transforming power of love?  If you do, that's enough."  Whoa.

So this Sunday, I'll be getting baptized, along with Amelia.  (Emma has been baptized already, at the request of grandparents.)  My husband, who insists he has had enough church in his life and never intends to go again, has promised to accompany me.  I might even buy a dress.  I own plenty of pre-pg dresses, none of which fit.  But can a woman get baptized in pants?  I gather such a thing is Not Usually Done.

Emma is wondering how Fr. C will do the deed.  "Maybe he will use a squirt bottle!" she suggested.

But here's an oddity: the president of my university attends the same, rather small, church.  To the extent that he knows who I am, we have an adversarial relationship, due to my work on the union bargaining team.  A dean from the administration team also attends this church, though she is not my dean.  It's not too long ago that union and administration were locked in bitter antagonism, and those negative forces have not entirely dissipated.  It will feel very strange to be baptized in front of these people.  Weird enough to be baptized at age 40, but baptized at age 40 in front of your CEO*?

I'll let you know how it goes.

*Yes, he is officially a CEO.  "Chief Educational Officer."  I know, I know.

Pickup Lines for Feminists

A great poem by Lesley Kartali.  Here's a snippet:

if the personal is political
then our getting together
has the potential
to subvert the patriarchy.

Now read the whole thing! (via A blog doesn't need a clever name)

Tiny Houses

I *love* these Tumbleweed Tiny Houses.  If I were single, I would be looking for a way to move in. (via Gene)

Surprising Things About Jesus

At the suggestion of a priest*, I've been reading the gospel of Matthew.  What a different experience to read the story straight through, instead of in little bits and pieces, and to read it in the Contemporary English Version rather than the KJV.  Three things about Jesus surprised me:

1. Even his disciples didn't understand his parables all the time.  In fact, they asked him specifically why the heck he always spoke in parables (Matthew 13:10), and shortly afterwards, when Jesus told the parable about the weeds in the wheat field, his disciples followed him and basically said, "Psst! Jesus!  What did that mean, anyway?" (Matthew 13:36) 

This makes me feel a bit better, because a couple of the parables are, imo, confusing.  For example (Matthew 21:28-32) a man had two sons and he asked both of them to work in his vinyard.  The older son told him that he would not do it, but then changed his mind and did.  The younger son said he would, but didn't go.  Jesus asked, "Which one of the sons obeyed his father?"

"The older one," I thought to myself, and sure enough, Jesus' listeners answered the same.  Then Jesus told them, "You can be sure that tax collectors and prostitutes will get into the kingdom of God before you ever will!"  In other words, wrong answer.  But why?

2. Jesus became very crabby as the crucifixion approached. I don't blame him, of course, I was just surprised to see it.  There was the time he encountered a fig tree that didn't happen to have any fruit at the moment (Matthew 21: 18-22).  So he told the tree, "You will never again grow any fruit!" and the tree dried up.  That seems a trifle unfair, though it did impress the disciples.  Another time (Matthew 17:14-21), the disciples failed to heal a boy of epilepsy.  Jesus said to them, "You people are too stubborn to have any faith!  How much longer must I be with you?  Why do I have to put up with you?"    Ouch.

Until I read the story straight through, I didn't appreciate how Jesus changed from the "don't tell anyone" healer to the "go out there and spread the good news" leader to the "my God, why have you deserted me?" figure on the cross to the "I will be with you always, even until the end of the world" risen savior.

3. For all our claims to be a "Christian" nation, the U.S. has strayed pretty far from Jesus' teachings. 

Think about:

"God blesses those people who are humble.  The earth will belong to them!" (Matthew 5:5)

"I tell you to love your enemies and pray for anyone who mistreats you.  Then you will be acting like your Father in heaven.  He makes the sun rise on both good and bad people. And he sends rain for the ones who do right and for the ones who do wrong. . . . You must always act like your Father in heaven." (Matthes 5:44-48)

"So if you are about to place your gift on the altar and remember that someone is angry with you, leave your gift there in front of the altar.  Make peace with that person, then come back and offer your gift to God." (Matthew 5:23)

"When you do good deeds, don't try to show off.  If you do, you won't get a reward from your Father in heaven." (Matthes 6:1) 

"Don't condemn others, and God won't condemn you." (Matthew 7:1)

"If you want to be perfect, go sell everything you own!  Give the money to the poor, and you will have riches in heaven. . . . It's terribly hard for rich people to get into the kingdom of heaven! In fact, it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to get into God's kingdom."  (Matthew 19:21-23)

These teachings are difficult.  I don't know if I'm capable of following them in my own life, and when you look around at our war-making, poverty-riddled yet wealthy country, it's clear that the U.S. isn't doing it.   

In fact, I do not understand how the current self-righteous property-focused Republican party (as opposed to the classic "respect individuals" Republican party of yore) can consider itself to be the more "Christian" party, or how people proud of their Christianity can support that party. 

4. Jesus was open-minded.  This wasn't a surprise--I'm just sayin'.  What I've read of Matthew goes along with the Socinian's Reinterpretation of John 14:6.  The exclusionary overtones of that verse ("I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and no one comes to the Father except through me")  is part of why I'm uncomfortable with the idea of baptism.  As fausto puts it, "if we can find glimpses of truth in many traditions and cultures, how can we affirm one that denies all the others?"  But he goes on to explain that John was not trying to set up a wall between his followers and all other truth-seekers:

[I]t would be a misinterpretation to understand those to be the verbatim words of Jesus, decreeing eternally as the one true God of Israel, that the only way to escape an eternity of burning torment in the afterlife is strict adherence to a set of abstruse doctrines about himself that would not even be defined until hundreds of years later by politically charged conferences of fallible men. Rather, it is John's attempt to illustrate Jesus' identity with the divine Logos, which the Greek philosophers believed to be present everywhere.

Certainly, Matthew tells of a Jesus who appreciated faith in all people, even tax collectors and Canaanites.  I still haven't decided whether to be baptized, but I'm learning a lot.

*After feeling "in the way" during a few too many communion services, I finally talked to the priest at the Episcopal church I've been attending.  We had a very rewarding conversation, and he sent me home with a prayerbook and instructions to read the baptism service and the gospel of Matthew.